One of my friends shared this interview on her instagram account and it truly struck a nerve. Here’s a woman, a Duchess, that from the outside you would think that life has got to be pretty good for her. I mean she’s the Duchess of Sussex! But then I realize that she’s still a woman and new mother. So many of us have been right where she is but luckily for us we weren’t under the scrutiny of media and an entire country watching our every move.
Last week, ITV news released a clip of an upcoming documentary Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and after such a simple question of “are you doing ok” you could see in her eyes that she was not. She even answered the interviewer by saying “not many people have asked if I’m ok”. Wow!
Our society always put so much emphasis on woman looking and acting a certain way even during pregnancy. People go out of there way to point out when celebrities aren’t looking their best, have put on too much weight or have expressed how being pregnant was one of the most stressful experiences. And then once you’ve become a new mom everything is so focused on the snapback and how quickly you lost the baby weight.
New moms and women struggle daily with these expectations of keeping up appearances. Some have help and an amazing support system but so many are struggling and no one takes the time to just ask the simple question of are you doing ok.
I think one of the reasons a lot of people avoid this question is because if someone says they’re not doing ok they don’t know what to do or they think you should be grateful that you have a new baby. Being a parent is hard as fuck! Add to that making sure your marriage is doing well and its just too much for some people to handle.
And you know what…those women aren’t alone! I try to check in on my strong friends from time to time because I know its hard and a lot of times people think its a sign of weakness if you ask for help. But what do you do when your friend says she’s not ok. The big thing is to be there and listen. Be a shoulder to cry on, ask what you can do to help and remember you’re not there to “fix” anything but you are support and encourage them.
To all the moms and especially all women, its ok to not be ok.
If you or someone you know are experiencing any mental health crisis I’m more than happy to connect you with resources in your area and remember this is always a safe place! <3
I read that interview. I’m glad they asked her that question … a friend recently gave birth and she said the same thing basically, that lots of people inquire after the baby but no one really asks how she is doing, mentally or physically.