Last month I took a leap of faith and decided to add a new segment to the blog for vitiligo awareness. I was overwhelmed by the support from my fellow bloggers and my awesome readers. Today I had planned to talk about how important sun safety is when you have vitiligo, but I wanted to switch gears after I started to notice something I was seeing in Morgan.
As the weeks pass by the weather has been getting warmer in our part of the country, but my daughter still insisted on wearing a sweater and leggings with her skirts to school. I didn’t really pay much attention to it until it got hot! So I finally asked her if she didn’t want anyone to see her beauty spots. At first she dismissed it and then said yes. I can’t even tell you all how much that hurt me inside. I’ve been trying to approach talking about her vitiligo with her delicately because I know she’s not comfortable when I ask her about it. I asked her if any of the kids said anything to her and she said yes but couldn’t remember.
As her mom I want to just put her in a little bubble and protect her from everything but I know that not realistic. Morgan is also pretty shy so it doesn’t help when other kids are asking her about it. And I can just see that look on her face like “why the heck are you talking to me kid I don’t know” haha! For now I can do my best to help her love the skin she’s in!
I’ve also met another young lady that blogs/vlogs about her vitiligo and she has given me so many tips and suggestions to help my daughter. I know that the hardest years will most likely be when she hits middle school age (ugh girls can be so cruel) but I know that having a good support system will also help a lot and she already knows she’s cute…LOL And from this picture (where she requested a different color polish on each nail) you can tell that she definitely has plenty of personality! <3
Oh Morgan, you’re breaking my heart sweet girl!
I feel her pain. I understand what its like to want to hide your skin. I started having red spots everywhere due to my psoriasis which I started developing about 2 years ago. It makes me very self-conscious too.
She’s beautiful, spots and all. I can tell she has your spunky personality. People need to look past the skin (color, spots, stripes, whatever) and see each other for who they really are.
Rose my mom has psoriasis too and for that reason she doesn’t like to wear skirts unless she’s got on tights or something similar. And you are just as gorgeous too! I’m hoping that she will continue to keep this positive, spunky outlook 🙂
Morgan is so cute and her spots is what makes her unique. *Hugs and kisses Morgan*
Thanks Lou! That’s why I can them her beauty spots when I say we need to put on sunscreen. That’s probably another reason she hates having her skin exposed because here I come with the sunscreen…lol
Awwwwwwwwww, I can’t relate but I understand. That age is tough without having vitiligo, anything that makes one stand out can be a source of pain. I know she is shy but do you think she would be open to speaking about it to her classmates? As a way to educate them, take away their power of teasing her and maybe help her come to terms with it a bit.
All the best to you both.
Thanks Mimi! Morgan is way to shy for that now and I think the kids her age are just more curious but it’s that older age and ignorant adults that I need to help her educate LOL
Morgan is beautiful! And you are an amazing mom! With such loving support from her family she will handle this challenge like a Boss!! Love you Girlie!
Thank you so much Vanessa! Mo doesn’t take any stuff from anyone so I know she’ll be just fine and so happy to have such awesome family and friends…love you too!!!
Morgan is just the cutest and I can tell that she is definitely full of personality! I could see myself wanting to protect her just like you, but I’m sure she’ll find her way to navigate through those difficult adolescent years and find friends that are super supportive along the way. I pray her strength throughout the process and that God gives you the words to say to keep her encouraged!
Thank you so much Nicole!!! <3
Dear Morgan,
Hi my blog name is BritishMumUSA, but my kids friends call me Miss Ray 🙂 My oldest daughter tried to hide her height for many years by hunching her shoulders and trying to fit in with all the other kids. Now in high school in her last years, she is standing tall and has been since freshman year. She loves her height, so stand tall and love who you are.
On another note, as you have already guessed she is gay too and tried to hide that as well, from herself and us. I am glad to say that as of three years ago she stopped hiding that and is just the most amazing young woman.
Please let your daughter know that we ALL THINK SHE IS BEAUTIFUL. Her skin is BEAUTIFUL……. Her smile is BEAUTIFUL, and I am envious of her lovely nails….
Much love…
xoxoxoxoxo
Morgan says “Thank you”!!! And Ray your daughter is absolutely beautiful and and she’s got such awesome family and friends that loves and support her!
She is precious! And you are right… so much personality. Thank you for posting about vitiligo to bring awareness to the condition. I do hope the girls and boys in middle school are not cruel to your daughter. But if one should say something mean I hope there are 10 others who will say sweet things to her. As one of my friends says… why should we make judgments about a person based on a 1/4″ of epidermis!
Thank you so much Julie! She is such a little spitfire and I hope she continues that and not let anyone rain on her parade 😀
I know what your next post for Children’s should be. 😉
Oh. Wow. I am glad she has you: spunky mom, confident mom, smart mom, savvy mom. That last one enhanced by your social worker creds. Social workers amaze me. So resourceful. I’m thinking this could be a real opportunity to be something wonderful and an example of shining through adversity. Her spunkiness will help. I’m not candy coating it, I know it could go the other way. So do you. You are smart to be aware and prepared. And, thanks so much for sharing. It is a gift. And As I thought about that I thought this is what I do about autism. So, it is like seeing the shoe on another foot. Thank you. My best for your and her and your family on the journey.
Thanks so much Leisa!
You need to talk to her even if it’s uncomfortable for you – or for her. She needs to understand that other people’s cruelty is about them, not about her, because it’s never going to stop. I tell you this as a 53-year-old born with Cerebral Palsy who still occasionally encounters unbelievable acts of unkindness by others just because I look different. The sooner you can establish an ongoing dialogue that celebrates her vitiligo the sooner she will celebrate it herself. It won’t be tomorrow, but it will happen. The only way to combat denigration is through self-celebration.
Rant over – and I know you got this. After all, purple hair is so empowering 😉
Alicia
spashionista.com
Thank you Alicia! We def have been talking more and I’m hoping after this summer she’ll be ok showing off her beautiful skin more!
she is beautiful spots and all. it’s a great things you’re doing talking abt it and help her get comfortable in her own skin. like Mimi said anything that make them stand out at this age is a pain. my girls complain abt being taller than all their friends and other stuff i dont know how to deal with yet.
love u Momo! you are beautiful
Thank you Lyne! Can’t wait to see you all this summer too!
Cute, sweet girl! Blessings to you both as you navigate this. Love your blog!
Thank you so much Mary! She’s my little spitfire so I’m sure she’ll be ok showing off her beautiful skin soon!
Aww such a pretty girl. I hope she can get to a place where she can deal with it and not feel shame. It breaks my heart, but I think she’s beautiful.
Thanks Anglea! We are def working on it. For now I’m on the hunt for lightweight clothing so she won’t get so hot this summer 😉
Awww, on one hand I get it because I have a big old birthmark on my head that I wanted to hide. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned to embrace it. She is such a cutie pie, though.
I think your daughter is beautiful just as she is and everyone is unique in their own certain way! I do hope she can become more accepting of how she is!
Morgan is adorable and obviously a very sweet little girl. Yes, girls can be cruel but eventually they are going to realize how special Morgan really is.
Your daughter is beautiful! I think it’s great that you are talking to her about vitiligo. She’s very lucky to have you as her mother.
So, when I was little I wanted to be purple with pink spots. Never happened. Anyway, Mo, your spots are beautiful (even if they’re not pink/purple hehe) Don’t you ever, ever, ever EVERRRRRRRRRRR hide your skin or any other part of who you are. Cuz who you are is awesome and meant to be shared. DO YOU HEAR ME?!
k bye
Your daughter is a cutie and I wish you the b est of luck guiding her through middle school, because as you said, girls at that age can be very mean.
I have freckles. Lots and lots of freckles. And what can I say? Kids can be very cruel. I totally empathize with Morgan’s desire to hide her skin. I’m still not a huge fan of my freckles, but I’ve discovered more people over the years that love the look of my freckles and are intrigued by them, than ever teased me about them.
So let Morgan know for me, that even though there may be the not-so-nice kids, there are also the ones that admire you for your looks, your personality, your friendship and your spirit! And they’re the ones that are worth listening to 😉
I had never heard of vitaligo until I watched ANTM and one of the models had it. She was stunning, as is your baby girl. I hope she learns to be confident in her skin and keep the bullies at bay x
Morgan is gorgeous and I hope she always remembers that! Growing up I had a friend who had vitaligo and I never thought anything of it because I had known her since we were toddlers. It’s great to see so many models with vitaligo on the pages of magazines now. The more people see it, the more it will be normal (which it is) to them <3
She’s beautiful! I know having a mom like you who cares for her will definitely get through any challenges she may face at school.
She doesnt need to hide it. She is beautiful inside and out and should be reminded everyday! Great job mommy for putting out there so people can be educated.
I am sorry that she feels like she has to hide. She is beautiful! I read this with my 12 year old son and he said that someone in his class has the same thing. He hates it when people pick on her too! This is a great article to read to kids!
I could totally relate.. there was some point I felt that way too.. to hide those parts.. you did a good job in handling this. She is so cute!
Morgan is too cute. This too shall pass. I was just talking tomy mommy about when I was primary school the kids used to tease me about my acne. They called me some names. Smh. She has you, the rest of her family and friends- she’ll be great. Maybe even turn a Vitiligo embassador; )
She is such a beautiful and pretty child to me, I do not see anything wrong I just see her beauty and I am sure her personality is just as amazing as her.
It is awesome that you are blogging about it and I have to admit with the picture of your daughter, I noticed the different nail polishes first. She is beautiful and she is luck to have a mom like you too. The past few years I have heard more and more about vitiligo which is a good thing too. Thanks so much for sharing.
Wow, I wish I could say I understand what your daughter is going through but that would be disingenuous. However, I can say that I love that you are doing an incredible job in trying to help your daughter come to terms with this (“Beauty spots” is great!) 🙂
I’m sorry, but I never heard of vitiligo, but what I do know is you’re little girl is so darn cute, and very express. She is definitely special, and she did a fine paint job on her nails.. She is precious and you can tell her I said so & I know precious when I sees it. I have 11 grandchildren and 4 children of my own… oops and 1 great-grandchild. So do I knows it when I sees it or what!!!! HI CUTIE!!!
My 4 year old has Vitiligo as well. when she was about 2 1/2-3 years old, she bumped her forehead and caused a little abrasion. Fast forward to when it should have healed and went away, I noticed that she still had a white spot. I continued to keep an eye on it and then started to notice that her eyelashes on her left eye started turning white. We started to get worried at this point because we did not know what was going on. We then noticed yet another spot under her nose/top of her lip. This si when we made an appointment to go see the Dr. Pretty much the same as above, they prescribed her some cream that did nothing except burn her eyes because they wanted us to put it on her lashes. Needless to say, we stopped that because of it hurting and burning her. A year later, we have not noticed any other spots except for the forehead, upper lip, and all of her left eyelashes. We call them her fairy eyelashes and she has adopted the nickname of “Storm” (from X-men) because she has white eyelashes…hahaha! Just last night, my wife had my older daughter show me her new “birthmark”…….it was a white patch on her forearm. My heart immediately hit my throat and I thought I was going to cry. I still feel as if I want to cry as I type this. It kills me that my oldest (6 years old) now might have the same thing. I know its very early to tell, but that’s my fear.
I have always heard the same as everyone else as to what could possibly cause it….stress, etc. As a parent, this makes me question how good of a parent I have truly been. Have I raised my voice too many times to cause the stress which is causing this? I love my daughters more than life itself, but I still question is it my fault/ Did I do something to cause this? I am white and my wife is Mexican…..dumb statement maybe, but could it be the biracial genes causing this? I cannot help, but have these questions now.
No matter what, I will ALWAYS love my beautiful daughters to the moon and back; twice…forever and ever!!!!!!!! Are there any suggestions on how I can better approach this as a dad and a parent to better prepare them and ourselves for the future?
Thank you for any and all advice!!!!!!!!
Mike you almost made me cry!!! I’m so glad you found us and I know exactly how you feel about “what could I have done as a parent?” And the crazy part is that there’s no rhyme or reason for how anyone gets vitiligo. And I LOVE that your daughter’s nickname is Storm…freakin awesome!!! And you having questions about if the biracial gene could cause this is definitely not dumb. I learned that there are literally people all over the world that have vitiligo and for some it’s strictly genetics and others it may actually be caused by stress…who knows! What you are doing now is amazing and your daughters will love you for wanting to be there and support them and that’s the best thing you can do as a dad. I’ve joined a few groups and followed a few others with vitiligo and that’s helped me better understand a few things as well. You are more than welcome to email me if you ever need additional support. 🙂